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"I make your bed tomorrow"

I did it! No, not what you're thinking probably. Haha. I fliegeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!! I have just posted. Spontaneously ... and please call me crazy. I know I have a claim. Five weeks to go back to Namibia. "It is worth NOT "," And the money ?",... Yes, it may not be worth altogether. But I am damn damn. The money ... I love to spare, but for what? What I save the money if I did not use to get my feelings back on its feet.
crap, I cry just because a flight ??!?!??!?!
I know that the next few weeks will mean more as a stress for me, but I have in my entire life has never been so longs as since September. It is too early, I should have waited a year but I need the kids, pop, Martiens NOW! I want to heal my heart now. I want to get up in the morning, feel the sun, listening to the children and house mothers. Going to the office, say Pop hear: "Goeiemore Jessica, het jou lekka geslaapt?" And I say, "Goeiemore Pop, het ek. Dankie. Hoe gaan dit met jou vandag? "I want to have breakfast in the kitchen, listen to how or Otilie Gerda" Hare cry, hare, and then see a child at a time, a bowl or Mieliepap Bread crumbs collect. I would finally shout "study time" and I am angry that the kids again not the simplest tasks. I want to laugh, play, watch bounce. And if there are only five weeks, I would like at this time again, my thirty children. I am pleased and I do not give a damn what you might think. But my heart is somehow partly stayed down. I return "home" and above all I go back to a place where I feel I will gebraucht und ich kann helfen.

Ich lebe hier und versteht mich nicht falsch. Ich will hier gar nicht unbedingt weg, nur möchte ich auch nicht so weit weg von den Kids sein. Mein Traum nach Afrika war es, die Welt zu entdecken. Das will ich noch immer, aber hier in der Uni lerne ich nur Theorie... bis zu meinen praktischen Schulwochen vergehen noch ein paar Monate. Was mein Herz jetzt braucht, ist aber Praxis. Die Nähe zum Beruf, zu Kindern, zum sinnvollen Aufstehen... Wofür studiere ich, wenn ich so lange warten muss, bis ich es anwenden darf? Es sind nur fünf Wochen und, auch wenn es mir unendlich schwerfallen wird, ich komme zurück, um hier weiter zu lernen. Für the children, for me, for my (African) future.

The posting motivated me just to do my university tasks for me and for the kids! It cheers me on in such a stressful time!
I am just ... and it would be nice if you would rejoice you, even if you do not understand me you can ...

So, now I tarry with plenty of treats - and yearning tears in front of the TV before I write then in any case, nor the last minutes in politics.

Namibia, ek kom !!!!!! Since only three women had